Catching on Pregancy Progress & Reflecting on Some of 2009

I have fallen short on updating on the progress of our pregnancy with Baby Tristan. I thought I'd take a few minutes to write about the past couple of weeks (ok, months) :)

Our life has been a little stressful with Chris lay off, but we have survived. My tummy has grown and grown, and I have grown more and more in love with a baby whom I've never met. I have had all sorts of cravings--I hate to mention, because they aren't exactly the best foods for an expectant mom. But here they are: chocolate (really any kind), fruit roll-ups (crazy hugh!), Coca-Cola (I read 1 is ok a day)--funny because I didn't even really like Coke before, who knew! Oh, and ice cream, cheese sticks (frozen ones that you cook and then they are uwe-goey-delish--melt in your mouth! These things rock!

Chris and I have been seeing Dr.Young mostly every 2 weeks but as we drew closer to the end, we saw him every week. I get a little irratated by these apts, only because I feel as though they are a bit meaningless. We get dressed, drive over there, wait in the waiting room for 1/2 hour to hour then see him (the Dr) for like maybe 5 mins. It is important --I know. It's just that sometimes it doesn't feel important.

We had our baby shower, which was very nice. We soon discovered who cared enough to show up, or at least rsvp that they couldn't make it. I was very hurt by some that didn't bother to show up.

I am still battling with my hurt and disapointment of friends that fell off the face of the earth. I continue to pray for reconciliation, but have begun to realize that some friendships are just not meant to last forever and there is nothing I can do about it.

We made it through the Christmas Holidays, we put our tree (with the help of our dear friend Mark), it looked beautiful. Chris decorated with lights outside, it looked really nice. We spent one evening going to look at Christmas lights in a subdivision I used to visit with my parents when I was real young. I remembered it being "majical". Well, times have changed. We packed up the car, blanket, pillow, and Gracie and headed to see the "majical lights". The community isn't close, so Chris was a bit apprehensive to drive all that way, but I begged and he gave in. So we we were off, and finally finding our way into the community we soon discovered, indeed things had changed. The majic was not as I remembered. We made the best of it, even stopping by a gas station to grab a warm drink of coco and a sprite for me. We weaved in and out of a few streets, a there were a few homes who's lights captured our attention for a few brief moments. Quickly though, we decided to head home. We laughed about the experience, but surely won't be going back. We also decided that due to not knowing when baby would arrive, we would stick close to home for Christmas day. I know this was hard on Chris and his family. We went to my Mom & Dad's for Christmas day, we had a really nice and relaxing time. Lunch was great and we wnjoyed sitting around an visiting with family. We did not have allot of money this year, actually we had already any, so gifts were not given this year. We did however buy a gift for us (using the Best Buy Credit Card)--we bought a video camera. Not the best of the best, but one that is still HD and affordable. We wanted it for the baby's arrival and for capturing special moments of Tristan's life. We were very happy and very excited to purchase this gift. We did not buy for anyone else, well, I take that back, we did not Gracie a few treats and a toy. I even wrapped them and on Christmas Eve she (well we helped a little) opened one gift (just as I used to be able to open one gift on Christmas Eve when I was little--special memories I will always treasure), and then she opened the next gift on Christmas Morning. we really enjoyed watching her, it was adorable. She loved them!
We even captured it on video and took some cute pics. Christmas was very different for us this year, we were more focused on the true meaning of the season, and boy was it awesome! This year more than ever, I was focused on my Lord, and the birth of Jesus. I felt more blessed than ever. It was strange and cool being pregnant, I thought often how Mary felt. I pondered allot of her experience and how different it was than mine. Over all, we had a wonderful Christmas, although, just like every year, it came and went--way too fast.

New Years Eve was very different than that of celebrations past. Being pregnant, we did not do much. We visited with nieghbors on the culdesac and watched them pop some fireworks. We were in bed around 11:30 PM and laughed about how tired we were and old we felt. We laughed realizing we'd never been in bed at this time for NY's, but we were content, we were happy. At midnight we kissed and wished each other a happy new year. We both praised God for our blessings and prayed for a better year than the last. Knowing that the past 2 years had been quite tough, we hoped and prayed for a better 2010.

For my birthday, we were poor, so we couldn't do anything. But Chris did a very good job communicating his love for me, and wishing me birthday wishes and cuddling and snuggling with me. The next day (we finally got paid) and went out to eat at Lupe Toritillas, it was really good. Turning 32, I felt proud to be an expectant Mom, finally! I felt very blessed, I had the best birthday gifts ever, I was married to the best man ever and was expecting a baby boy!! How much better could it get?

So back the pregnancy updates...
We spent a day in L&D a little scared about the baby. I had been feeling bad and knew once I was checked out at the hospital why (I had 2 infections) and was treated for those with IV anitbiotics, and given fluids. I somehow though kept contracting with regular and some pretty strong contractions. The Dr said that 36 weeks was still too soon to have the baby and he stopped labor with 3 shots of Terbutilin and one pill. The medicine was strong and made me shake uncontrollably, but the nurse gave me meds to counteract the meds, and these helped. The Dr had planned and scheduled the cerclage removal for the next week, but he decided to remove it that evening instead. It was a horrible experience. Chris had gone home to get our bags, in case the baby came (we were told there was a good chance he would come shortly after they took it out). He wasn't able to make it back in time to hug and kiss me before the Dr took me back to the operating room...this was bad. I had a really hard time, I needed to see Chris before and not seeing him made me more nervous. I was terrified, I don't know why, I just was. They gave me a spinal block instead of putting me under, and I hated it. I did not do well with the spinal. It hurt really bad. I cried allot and felt so scared. I prayed, and waited for it to be over. This experience with the spinal block made me a little nervous about the epi for when I deliver. I am working through the nervousness and praying for a better experience. Anyways, I was brought back to my own room, where we stayed for a few hours to see if I'd go into full force labor, which I didn't. Dr Young asked me if I wanted to stay overnight and I told him no. I had a terrible reaction to the meds and spent hours really itchy, it drove me crazy!!! Finally we were released and on our way home. I was so happy to finally be home in our bed, I was so comfy!

-Darla

Finding Direction from God

When Chris got laid off of his job of 10+ years we were devastated and scared, we were not sure what we were going to do, we were in shock for several days, but we held onto the Lord. If have learned anything through our circumstances and heartache that we have already endured in our dating and marriage, we learned that God will never leave us, he will NEVER forsake us. And we have learned that he DOES always have a plan.


I must admitt that I cried often and felt helpless in many moments. Over the next couple of weeks after he was laidoff, Chris remained this calm and strong man...it was amazing. I saw a man who despite his circumstances stood strong, and leaned on the Lord and grew in his faith. He did not turn the other direction, slip into depression, or give up, he ROSE UP! He did not let this defeat him, he prayed faithfully, several times a day, read the bible-several times a day...I quickly discovered that I was falling MORE IN LOVE with him.

We talked about a dream to become a fire-fighter, and how being laid off would perhaps allow time and a way to attend the school (EMT Basic). He would recieve a severance pay up until March 31 (the school would be 3 months and end in May --I think). He could apply for Unemployment after March and most definitely receive it. He could find a part time job maybe, and then attend Fire Academy. He also said that he would like to attend school all the way up to Paramedic.

Now, I will be honest and tell you that I was so scared when I began seriously thinking about my husband as a fire fighter, but he always reminded me that God is ALWAYS in control. I had to pray faithfully that I would be the kind of Wife that God has called me to be. I prayed to be a wife who encourages, supports and loves her husband. I prayed that God would change my heart and help me to fully trust his will for Chris life. I prayed, just as Chris did, for God's will, for God's direction. I began to change, and realize that I must fully trust and now I am doing much better, and am VERY EXCITED for him. I am VERY PROUD of him. VERY PROUD.

Chris kept telling me that yes, he really wanted to be a fire fighter or a paramedic and that he just always desired to do something that really meant something, and he always felt like he wanted to save people, to make a difference in peoples lives. This was always a perfect way to spread God's love. More than anything though, he said that even though HE WANTED this, he wanted to be in GOD'S WILL more than ANYTHING. He said over and over that he wanted to do whatever God has called him to do, and if this wasn't it, that he would be ok, yes maybe a little disapointed at first, but he would faithfully go wherever God tells him to go. I was amazed at his faithfullness to be in God's will, again, I was and am...SO PROUD of him. I love him so much.

He researched several different schools and doors were closed a few that we'd hope would work. First, the college that would be closest and offer financial aid, the class starting right away was already full and had 40+ on a waiting list. Second was the class offered by Cintas, which we were very excited about because it would only take a month and 1/2 to complete! We soon discovered though that this would not work becuase the class started on the 25th (which is today actually) and the reason it would not work is because we were not sure when Baby Tristan would be born, and taking a chance of starting a class on the 25th would be very risky. Then of course we knew it wouldn't work, because we soon found out that I would be induced on the 27th, and that there was just NO WAY it would work. The last option was Cypress Creek, and this class would last about 3 months and begin on Feb 9th. Although it sucks that it starts on our aniversary, it was our only option.

The next step was to wait upon the Lord to see if this door would be open come registration day. We were not sure if the baby would come before and we'd be in the hospital. We were both a little excited and little scared, but kept praying, we prayed constantly for direction and for his will.

Last night, we laid in bed and talked about the baby coming, the class, registration and God's will. We both prayed again and tried to sleep. I do not think either of us got that much sleep, maybe we were both just excited and little nervous about whether he would get into the class, or if the baby would come early. We both knew that if the baby came, this would mean that God had another plan for Chris.

Chris had been told by a friend (Steven Kasper) that the class fills up very fast and there were only a certain # allowed in the class. Also, the instructor had suggested that Chris get there early, and hopefully he would get in. So....we decided that he better be extra careful and get there very early. Registration opened at 8 AM, he got up at 4:30 and made it to the parking lot at 5:20.

I did not sleep very well at all after he left. I was much to excited and nervous for him. I prayed again this morning. Around 8:30 AM I got out of bed and took a bath, hoping to hear from him soon. At around 9 AM the phone rang, it was him! I answered, really hoping to hear a voice that sounded happy...and I DID!!! He told me that he'd made it in the class! I was so excited, I couldn't even hold the tears back. I felt such peace from God! I was so happy for him, I was SO proud of him. I was so happy because I know for the first time he would be doing something that he really wanted to be doing. We talked about 30 mins all about the morning. When he made it home, he was tired, hungry, but very happy, he had a huge smile on his face. I hugged him and kissed his beautiful face and felt so happy. Happy that God lead us, happy that he was happy and excited. He placed his hand on my tummy and told me that he was really excited about the baby coming, I smiled, oh, I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH!!!! I am SO BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH TO AMAZING HUSBAND!!!!

Remembering our Elliana

As our date approaches where we w thelcome our new Baby Boy, Tristan, to this world, I cannot help remember our sweet Elliana. Although I know that she is with the Lord, safe, happy and loved, I still shed a tear or two as I reflect upon the memories of those long 18 1/2 hours of labor, I went through with Elliana in labor. It was an extremely devastating time in me and Chris life. We have grown so much since that day.

We will always remember you Elliana, and we will always love you.
Love, Mommy & Daddy

A Different Type Of New Years Resolution

Today, I opened my daily devotional and wanted to share...


Friends, God knows that the first day of each new year carries with it a myriad of emotions that often lead to promises and resolutions. Some commit to lose weight. Some commit to exercise more. Some desire a more disciplined walk with the Lord. And some want to be better wives and mothers. We all want God's highest and best for the new year.

But God knows too that these promises and resolutions are often grounded not in His Word but in our flesh. We focus on the end result and not on the process. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and exercise to feel better about yourself. It is a wonderful goal to be a "better" wife and mother. It is admirable to commit to daily Bible reading and quiet time with the Lord. But we must beware of making these things a daily duty we check off.

Committing to a New Year's Resolution will not bring profound lasting life change. Committing your heart to God...studying, learning, and praying God's Word...that is what will bring eternal, lasting life transformation.

I invite you join me this year in writing a New Year's Prayer. Below find my prayer for us.

Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?

Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.

Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!

Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us and through us this year and carry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.

Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.

To begin writing your prayer, examine your New Year's Resolution and prayerfully ask the Lord for to reveal the heart issue behind your resolution. Ask Him to lead you through His Word to verses that directly address what you hear.

Listen to God's promise in Hebrews 4:12:

For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. it exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Perhaps you want to lose weight because you feel unworthy of love due to your past, your present, or choices you have made. Find verses on God's great love for you...His promises that He created you just the way you are because He has a great plan and purpose for your life that only you can accomplish.

Perhaps you want to spend more time in the Word but you are too busy...you just can't fit it into your day. Find Scriptures on God's wisdom and priorities. Proverbs is a great place to start.

Perhaps you want to be a better wife and mother, but you have a temper that flares or a tongue that cuts like a knife. Open God's Word and find verses addressing speech, self-control, and patience. Proverbs and James are great places to start.

Once you have found your verses, take each one and personalize it. Then, put them together, along with your own heart's cry, to make a prayer. Copy your prayer into a journal or notebook. Write your verses on pieces of paper and put them where you can see them throughout the day. Memorize them.




Friends, God knows that the first day of each new year carries with it a myriad of emotions that often lead to promises and resolutions. Some commit to lose weight. Some commit to exercise more. Some desire a more disciplined walk with the Lord. And some want to be better wives and mothers. We all want God's highest and best for the new year.

But God knows too that these promises and resolutions are often grounded not in His Word but in our flesh. We focus on the end result and not on the process. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and exercise to feel better about yourself. It is a wonderful goal to be a "better" wife and mother. It is admirable to commit to daily Bible reading and quiet time with the Lord. But we must beware of making these things a daily duty we check off.

Committing to a New Year's Resolution will not bring profound lasting life change. Committing your heart to God...studying, learning, and praying God's Word...that is what will bring eternal, lasting life transformation.

I invite you join me this year in writing a New Year's Prayer. Below find my prayer for us.

Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?

Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.

Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!

Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us and through us this year and carry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.

Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.

To begin writing your prayer, examine your New Year's Resolution and prayerfully ask the Lord for to reveal the heart issue behind your resolution. Ask Him to lead you through His Word to verses that directly address what you hear.

Listen to God's promise in Hebrews 4:12:

For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. it exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Perhaps you want to lose weight because you feel unworthy of love due to your past, your present, or choices you have made. Find verses on God's great love for you...His promises that He created you just the way you are because He has a great plan and purpose for your life that only you can accomplish.

Perhaps you want to spend more time in the Word but you are too busy...you just can't fit it into your day. Find Scriptures on God's wisdom and priorities. Proverbs is a great place to start.

Perhaps you want to be a better wife and mother, but you have a temper that flares or a tongue that cuts like a knife. Open God's Word and find verses addressing speech, self-control, and patience. Proverbs and James are great places to start.

Once you have found your verses, take each one and personalize it. Then, put them together, along with your own heart's cry, to make a prayer. Copy your prayer into a journal or notebook. Write your verses on pieces of paper and put them where you can see them throughout the day. Memorize them.


Friends, God knows that the first day of each new year carries with it a myriad of emotions that often lead to promises and resolutions. Some commit to lose weight. Some commit to exercise more. Some desire a more disciplined walk with the Lord. And some want to be better wives and mothers. We all want God's highest and best for the new year.

But God knows too that these promises and resolutions are often grounded not in His Word but in our flesh. We focus on the end result and not on the process. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and exercise to feel better about yourself. It is a wonderful goal to be a "better" wife and mother. It is admirable to commit to daily Bible reading and quiet time with the Lord. But we must beware of making these things a daily duty we check off.

Committing to a New Year's Resolution will not bring profound lasting life change. Committing your heart to God...studying, learning, and praying God's Word...that is what will bring eternal, lasting life transformation.

I invite you join me this year in writing a New Year's Prayer. Below find my prayer for us.

Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?

Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.

Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!

Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us and through us this year and carry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.

Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.

To begin writing your prayer, examine your New Year's Resolution and prayerfully ask the Lord for to reveal the heart issue behind your resolution. Ask Him to lead you through His Word to verses that directly address what you hear.

Listen to God's promise in Hebrews 4:12:

For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. it exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Perhaps you want to lose weight because you feel unworthy of love due to your past, your present, or choices you have made. Find verses on God's great love for you...His promises that He created you just the way you are because He has a great plan and purpose for your life that only you can accomplish.

Perhaps you want to spend more time in the Word but you are too busy...you just can't fit it into your day. Find Scriptures on God's wisdom and priorities. Proverbs is a great place to start.

Perhaps you want to be a better wife and mother, but you have a temper that flares or a tongue that cuts like a knife. Open God's Word and find verses addressing speech, self-control, and patience. Proverbs and James are great places to start.

Once you have found your verses, take each one and personalize it. Then, put them together, along with your own heart's cry, to make a prayer. Copy your prayer into a journal or notebook. Write your verses on pieces of paper and put them where you can see them throughout the day. Memorize them.

I really liked this idea and will begin working on my prayer, praying that God show me the area I need work in, or areas actually, as I am sure that there is more than one. I will pray to understand the area and pray that he show me a plan to conquer it. I am excited about this prayer, and excited to see how it will change my days and months of this new year.