Planning for the Presense of Jesus-A Special Daily Devotional

This morning, is Christmas Eve, and I am downstairs and my sweet husband is upstairs still laying in bed, listening to music on his IPod, I assume he needs to be alone, and will use this time to think, relax and reflect. So, I decide to go ahead and do my daily devotion, just as I do every morning during the week. I, for a split second, had thought that I might skip it. I need to be alone during my time with God, to pray, to read my devotion and take in and reflect upon it's statements, and verses, and try to discover how to apply it to my own life. Today was extra special. This devotion was meant for me...it has to be. I always like reading a devotional and discovering that it truly applies to me, and I'm like Wow, how awesome, and then there are times like today, where I am like, Wow, what a wake up call. You see, what makes this devotional so special is that yesterday my husband and I were talking about some of the issues that him and his mother are experiencing, and of course, I butted in and wanted to know if I had caused any of these issues to arrise, or worsen. He kindly told me, in the most gentle of ways, how I do have a few things, I could work on, among the details of our conversation, he mentioned to me that I need to relax more, and how my obbession with cleanliness is making others well, to put it in simple terms, "uncomfortable". We continued to talk about my little problem and how it is causing some people to get upset, and how in the future, this might cause more problems. Now, I know that I will always be a clean freak, no doubt, but there is time to clean and time to bond. I was pretty understanding, but also, pretty defensive. Last night, I was mostly just lost in my own thoughts, I felt like there was nothing wrong with the way I was, and well, to put it frank, "screw everyone else who isn't a clean freak". Well, that was until this morning, that was until I realized how I've been for so many years. For years, with company, I will retreat to the kitchen to hurry up and clean the mess of dishes, and spend a long time in there, while guests, our guests are enjoying each others company. I for years, spend hours, frantically cleaning every inch of our home,and before I got married, my apartment, preparing for my guests. Many times I became very stressed, loosing my temper, and becoming unpleasant to me around, just becuase I didn't give myself enough time to clean, to cook and make my self look presentable. Why? Why am I so obbessed? Well, I doubt I will ever know the answer, and honestly it is unimportant. On the other hand, what it is important is how my obession is affecting my relationships. My relationships are suffering becuase of my little problem, and it is eye opening to realize it.

God must be so happy to watch me this morning, and he must be saying to himself, look my child, look what I have to teach you. I read my devotion and began to understand, a little more, how important planning for the presense of God, and my guests, friends, family, really is in the big picture. Just as Mary knew that all the other details could wait, and she took the very special time she had with Jesus to sit at his feet, so should I. I need to work on remembering to "sit with Jesus", and to enjoy my time with family and friends and not spend my entire time cleaning. And even before my guests arrive, I need to plan accordingly, so that I am in the right peace of mind to host, and to be the friend and family that others need, and want. I need to work on not allowing my obession to seriously affect relationships. I pray that I will get better with this, and that I can still keep house as I'd like, but remember what's really important.

Here is the devotional for today..."But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made." Luke 10:40 (NIV)

I tend to consider myself a "Martha" type personality. And I don't mean Martha Stewart. That Martha was ready for Christmas in October, I'm sure.

No, I'm nothing like Martha Stewart. In fact, a few years ago I didn't even manage to decorate the tree. It had lights on it ONLY because it was a pre-lit tree! I managed to put a few gifts under it before Christmas because my dear children kept looking at me with big hopeful eyes, asking when I was going to wrap SOMETHING. But that was it. No cards. No Christmas concerts or caroling. No trip to see lights. Just a busy life made even busier.

For those who know the Luke 10 story of Martha and her sister Mary, that's the Martha I'm talking about. That Martha had the privilege of hosting Jesus in her home. But instead of sitting at His feet, like her sister Mary did, Martha worked and complained to Jesus that Mary wasn't helping her.

Let's put ourselves in that scene for a moment. Jesus has come to YOUR house. To visit YOU. And not only are you too busy to spend some time with Him, but the time you do have you spend complaining. You complain about "someone" not doing her job, and how you have to do all this work, and if only "someone" would help you then you could actually sit down and enjoy some time with Jesus and blah, blah, blah…

Martha wasted an amazing opportunity. And many times, so do I. She let the demands of every day overshadow the call of the divine. In fact, Jesus gently chided Martha, and affirmed Mary's choice to sit and spend time with Him in the middle of all the work that had to be done.

In verse 42 we read that Jesus told Martha her sister did what was "needed." So in Jesus' mind, whatever Martha was doing wasn't needed at that moment…whether it was to impress, pamper or comfort Him. Jesus just wanted Martha to sit down and spend time with Him.

Imagine if you had travelled far to visit the home of a friend. And in her desire to serve you, she never spends time with you. Do you know anyone like that? Don't you want to say, "Sit down. Relax. All this stuff doesn't matter. I came to spend time with you."

That's just what Jesus was saying to Martha. In other words,

Martha, thank you for caring about my needs. But, you don't have to worry so much. There's only one thing I want right now, and that's to spend time with you. Mary gets it. Come sit down next to your sister. The dishes will wait. But you won't have this time with Me very much longer.

Martha probably wasn't given much notice of Jesus' arrival, hence her rushing around. We, however, have been. Just as you would prepare for the arrival of a special guest to your home, I invite you to prepare for the presence of Jesus this Christmas.

Have you ever let the demands of the everyday pull you away from the divine? Have you ever chosen a good thing over the best thing? You're not alone. Today, I invite you to set aside all the preparations and distractions and sit in the presence of Jesus.

We don't have to do anything special to enjoy Jesus' company. We just have to quiet ourselves from the busyness of the day, take a deep breath, and allow Jesus to fill our hearts with His joy and peace. It can be sitting outside looking at the stars, listening to carols, or sipping a cup of coffee in front of a fire. Just sit down with nothing else to do and invite Jesus to join you.

When I think back about the scene recorded in Luke 10, between Martha and Mary, I can tell which sister had more peace in her life. And it wasn't Martha. This Christmas I definitely want to plan for the presence of Jesus – that's really all I need.

Dear Lord, thank You for the gift of Your son Jesus. As I go through this Christmas and the upcoming year, please help me set priorities that are pleasing to You. Help me remember to plan to enjoy the presence of Jesus more than I plan for the details. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Worship: Nearing the Heart of God by Glynnis Whitwer

Visit Glynnis’ blog for more encouragement!

Pursuing the Christ: 31 Morning and Evening Devotions for Christmastime by Jennifer Kennedy Dean

For more encouragement on intentionally focusing on Christ during busy seasons, click here

Application Steps:
Spend some time in prayer, asking God to show you His priorities for you this day and over the next year. Write down one or two things God brings to mind.

Reflections:
In holiday seasons past, when have you experienced the presence of Jesus most? Be specific.
How does time alone with Jesus change you?

Power Verses:
Luke 10:41-42, "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" (NIV)

Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV)

© 2009 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserve

Realized What's Important

Yesterday Chris came home and found me crying. I was so upset, I had broke down crying so often that day. We are struggling financially, and the burden weighs heavy on Chris and flows to me. He is so stressed these days, and it breaks my heart. I just couldn't control my emotions yesterday, and yes, I am sure that the pregnancy hormones do play a big role in my emotional rollercoaster, but lately, I am crying allot. Anyways, he came home from work and I couldn't stop crying and he held me and looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Baby, it's going to be ok, everything will be ok, I promise". He also told me that a co-worker had lost his Dad the night before and another co-worker had just lost his grandfather. He told me that he realized all we had to be blessed about, and how small and not-important getting all mad, angry, stressed is, in comparrison to thier losses.

I finally stopped my uncontrolable crying, and was more grateful than I can express for these few minutes where my husband was compassionate, honest and understanding. I was so grateful that the Lord helped him see these losses and realize what was truly important. I was grateful for so much.

He was so kind, gentle and loving. I shared with him the baby memory book I bought, we laid together listening to music in the dark, and then later went to dinner. We had a great evening together.

Darla

Another Really Good Devotional

Friday, December 18, 2009
10:26 AM

Well what can I say? I read another really good devotional, and had to share. I needed this today, it is SO amazing that my God speaks to me exactly when I need him to, WOW, my God is SO GOOD! He renews my hope, fills my heart with peace and strengthens me with only a few minutes spent listening to him, meeting him for a little chat. Thank you Lord!



Here is the devotional (From Proverbs 31 Ministries)

As I started my run, old thoughts poured into my head. You are not beautiful. You are not special. Your life doesn't count. After years of reading the Truth, studying the Truth and even teaching the Truth, it was hard to believe I still struggled with these dark thoughts. I guess I shouldn't have expected the enemy to lie down and give up. He knows my weaknesses and all my buttons to push.

As lies poured in, I retrieved scriptures stored in my mind and heart. He sees me as beautiful. He says He is wild about me. He is more than enough for me. He is all I need.

Mulling over these precious chunks of God's Word, tears began to pour. This is what I needed. I didn't need more words of affirmation from my husband. I didn't need another pat on the back from a friend. I needed a new outpouring of love from my Love. I needed to be reminded of who He says I am, to give up the old lies and replace them with His Truths.

When we come into His presence, He fills us. The Lord changes us so that we are not the same as we were when we came to Him. Ezekiel 46:9 represents this exchange of old for new. The people of Israel were told when they came into the temple area to worship, they were to enter through one gate and exit through the opposite gate. So the same should be true with us; we are "not to go back as we came, but more holy, and heavenly, and spiritual" (Matthew Henry). As we enter into our special times with God, we need to come out the "opposite gate," different than the way we went in.

After an hour of running, crying and praying to God, I returned home a different woman. Now, I was ready. Ready to be the wife and mom I needed to be. Ready to be God's vessel to pour out. Being in the Lord's presence restored me. I had been filled and changed.

Dear Lord, I need You today. Living this life sometimes drains me and leaves me empty. As I come through Your gates and into Your presence, change me. Pour Your life and heart into me so that as I leave through the "opposite gate," I am not the same woman as when I came in. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Todays Devotion-A Gut Honest Look At Love

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lately I have been waking up, making my decaf coffee, turning the Christmas lights on, telling Gracie to go outside and potty, giving her a treat, and finally…relaxing to my couch to talk to God. I know that opening my day with prayer, conversing with my Heavenly Father, is the best way to begin any and everyday. Sometimes I get a little distracted by other things online, but most of the time I am able to focus, to begin first with prayer, followed by a daily devotion. My Mom, for the entire time I've known her, has done daily devotions, and I've always looked up to her for her diligence when it comes to "keeping the faith". She would sit down, have her breakfast, her coffee and meet with God. So, I think it is pretty cool to follow in her footsteps. I hope that once baby Tristan arrives I will have the diligence to also sit down and meet with God. I decided to try Proverbs 31 Ministries (for Women) as a way to "get fed the word of God", and so far, so good. I wanted to share today's devotion, one because it is awesome, and two because this is actually something that I feel I tend to struggle with in my own life. I prayed this morning that God would speak to me, and I believe he did. Lately I have been guilty of expecting Chris (my hubby) to fill in empty spaces (to "love me" MORE). I am beginning to see that my emotional rollercoaster (mostly due to pregnancy hormones-but is still not an excuse, may be just weighing to heavy on him. He works so hard all day, comes home, and many times has to accomplish a few chores around the house, and then all the sudden I will break down, and he is responsible for "making everything all better"? No. Enough is enough, and I cannot continue to expect so much, so often. He loves me dearly, and yes, at times, like any marriage, there are times where we must remind out husbands that we need certain things, no one is perfect, but I must remember that it is not his responsibility to "fill my cup". Lord, help me to remember this.

Darla


"…if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2 (NIV)

As the holidays approach, I have to be careful about developing an overly ideal view of love. Sometimes I'm guilty of setting the expectations so high of what a 'love filled' Christmas should be that it dooms me to feeling disappointed and grumpy. Ever been there?

Well, this year I am feeling challenged to look at love a little differently. I don't want to repeat a habit that I've had from the past where I expect unrealistic things from those I love. I used to hold out the little cup of my heart to my husband, "Will you fill my empty spaces? Will you do that one really romantic thing that makes me feel like I'm the most terrific and special woman in the world?"

Then I would hold it out to my children, "Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you do something that makes me look really good as a mom so I'll feel a little more validated?"

Then I would hold it out to my friends, "Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you provide something today that makes me feel more included and significant?"

Maybe Christmas is an odd time to consider such things.

Or, maybe this season celebrating Jesus is the perfect time to hit the reset button on my sometimes frail heart. Love is a tricky thing. Our hearts were created to crave it. But misplaced expectations from love can wreak havoc in a person's heart.

God proclaims in 1 Corinthians 13:8 that love never fails. And in the quietness of my heart that verse makes me squirm a bit. I see love failing all the time. Or do I?

If my only view of love is what it will give me, love from others will fail me every time. It's not that love fails. It's that other people were never meant to be my God. Even a great husband, wonderful children and a thriving ministry can never truly fill me up, right all my wrongs, and soothe those deep insecurities. Not at Christmas. Not at any other time of the year.

No, I can't read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 with eyes hungry to see what love should give me and then demand it from those around me. I should read those steadfast Scriptures with the realization that this is the kind of love God gives to me. And this is the kind of love I can choose to give to other people.

I can choose that my love will be patient. My love will be kind. My love won't keep a record of wrongs. (Ouch - that's a hard one, right?)

I can choose that my love will protect and persevere.

And I can choose to lay the cup of my heart at Jesus' feet and stop twirling, twirling, twirling...hoping- demanding- that those around me do things for me they were never meant to do.

Interestingly enough, when I read 1 Corinthians 13 again this morning I found an odd yet perfect verse toward the end of this chapter. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me" (verse 11).

Yes indeed. How funny I never connected that verse about putting away childish things with 1 Corinthians 13 - known as the chapter of love. Oh how we have the propensity to grow in other areas while keeping such a childish, selfish view of love.

Love isn't what I have the opportunity to get from this world. Love is what I have the opportunity to give. And I guess there's no more appropriate time to remember this than Christmas.

Dear Lord, thank You for the ability to see love in the proper way. Help me to know how to be filled with Your love so I don't try to get others to fill my empty spaces. Lord, give me wisdom with each of my relationships. Make me a woman that properly lives the principals in 1 Corinthians 13. In Jesus' Name, Amen.Reflections:

We need to learn to live the love in 1 Corinthians 13. But this doesn't mean we enable others to treat our love with disdain. Sometimes boundaries need to be drawn in relationships to keep things healthy. Choosing love doesn't mean letting others disrespect or abuse us.

Are there some relationships in your life that need some healthy boundary lines drawn? Are there some relationships where you need to get a pastor or Christian counselor involved? Pray and ask God to reveal to you how to properly live the love described in 1 Corinthians 13 with the people in your life.

Power Verses:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." (NIV)© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Letters to Tristan

Dear Tristan,

I am 32 weeks pregnant with you, and so full of emotion. I am excited beyond words, but I am also nervous. I often wonder if I will be a good mother to you. I am just not that familar with infants, and it scares sometimes to think that there might be times where I don't know what you need. I long to hold you, to see your beautiful face...but I hope that I am able to comfort you.

I am surprised sometimes that we have made it this far. When I was 24 weeks, I was addmitted to the hospital for pre-term labor, and the dr and nurses felt that you would most likely arrive early, and put me on bed rest. Now look at you, you are rocking and rolling!

Just yesterday, at our dr appointment, Dr Young had a huge smile on his face, and you couldn't help but notice how proud and excited he was about me making this far...he said "32 weeks!" "You are rocking and rolling"! He was right!

It has been such an adventure, one that I forever will cherish. Daily I am filled with such happiness and feel so extremely blessed that you are growing inside and that one day, your Daddy and me will have the joy of holding you, looking into your precious eyes and telling you how much we adore you, love you and kissing your oh so soft skin.

We are almost finished with your nursery. I sure you hope you love it. I have enjoyed decorating it so much. I have just a few last minute touches to add. You probably will not notice all the details that make it so perfect, and precious, but that's ok, your Daddy and I just had to make it beautiful for you. We have decorated it in blue (North Carolina Blue--one day you will understand--one day you will lay with your Daddy and watch a game with him), brown, white and ivory. I handmade so many of the things in your room. I don't know why, but the entire time I have been pregnant with you, I have had the urge to make everything. Thanks to one of your Grandmothers (Daddy's Mom), I was able to teach myself to sew and made all sorts of things in your nursery. Daddy helped out tremendously, he is quite creative and has enjoyed adding special touches to your room.

We have bought all the clothes you should need when you arrive, and a few extra peices (just because we couldn't resist). I love buying your clothes, they are so little and so cute! I cannot wait to dress you in these precious clothes and take pictures of you. Oh, yes, there will be so many photos. We have washed the clothes (all expect a few) and have folded and hung them up. We have also purchased many other items for the big day, and your arrival. There are only a few more things that we need to have before you are here.

Our Baby Shower was nice. Friends and Family joined us to celebrate your upcoming arrival. We were so blessed to have been given the shower by Jennifer, Mark and your future God Mother Tisha.

Your Daddy and I have decided to make my brother Dusty and his wife Tisha, your God Parents. This means that if ever something happened where your Daddy and Me left to be with the Lord, you would go to live with them. We picked them carefully, making sure that this was the best fit for you, and we feel very confident in this decision. We know that they would love you just as we do, and that you would enjoy your life with them. They are delighted in this decision, and have been very supportive during my pregnancy.

We still need to choose a Pediatrician for you, we have to do this soon. Don't worry though, we will soon.

We Love You!
Love,
Mommy

In the Third Trimester!

I went into my third trimester last Wednesday, I was so excited, and soooo blessed. I still cannot believe that I am still pregnant sometimes. I know that God has so richly blessed us with a miracle.

These days I am doing pretty good. Still on dr ordered bed rest. I am a bad patient though, and find that I am up more than I should, but for the most part, I am laying down, or sitting all day. On occasion, I get out, bed rest is hard.

My belly is getting bigger, and I am starting to become a little uncomfortable. It is getting more difficult for me to get out of bed. I sort of just roll off. Ha haha

I am inot feeling Tristan as much these days, but I am sitting up sewing alot. I seem to feel him the most lying down on my side.

I have an appointment with the dr on Wednesday, just a check up. Last Wednesday, I went into the dr for the Glucose Test (tests for Gestational Diabetes), and I never heard from the nurse, or dr, so I assume this is good news and I have not developed diabetes. This is a blessing.

I believe I will be going to the dr every week until I have the baby. I will be 29 Weeks on Wednesday!!! My dr told me that I'd make it to 30 weeks, but I am curious how far after that I will make it. My goal is to get to 35 or 36 Weeks. 34 weeks is December 23.

I am pretty sure that the Dr will take my cerclage out at 36 weeks, but it might be 35 weeks. Everyone (family and friends) seems to think (especially Chris) that I will go into labor within hours after my cerclage is removed. I am not sure.

I just really want to be able to take Tristan home when I get released from the hospital, and I want him healthy!

Here is a picture of my belly at 28 Weeks.

A New Business Perhaps???

I have been thinking about starting a business to make money, and still be able to stay home with our baby when he arrives. I have grown to seriously adore sewing, and these days, I am in the mood to make everything!

Chris and I have handmade everything in the nursery, and I am so glad we decided to make the crib bedding on our own. I have been working on several projects to complete the nursery, as well as a few sewing projects.

A friend told me that I should think about getting together a website and try to sell some of the amazing creations I have come up with, I haven't done the website...but am really thinking about selling curtains (custom made), maternity shirts (boutique style), and burp cloths.

More than anything, I'd like to focus the business around Maternity shirts and burp cloths.

Here are a few pictures of my latest crafts! These I made for a friend who is pregnant, having a girl...her shower is this weekend! I can't wait to give it to her. I also sewed her baby a very beautiful blanket. I really hope she loves everything.

Trick or Treat

Baby on the way

Our Baby, Our Miracle, Ultra Sound Pics

Gracie

Hubby Get's Hurt

Chris tore his achilles tendon, had surgery and is recovering. My poor baby! He is one tough cookie though!

Feeling Crafty!

Belly Get's Bigger

Make Room for Baby!

25 Weeks

24 Weeks

At 24 Weeks we found ourselves in the Labor & Delivery Department at St. Lukes Hospital in The Woodlands. I went in after experiencing 9 contractions an hour, and called the Dr, and was told to go. I stayed in the Observation area for a few hours being monitored and given meds to slow contractions. The baby was fine, but the meds did not work, so I was admitted to the hospital, put in my own room and started on stronger meds to control the contractions. I was given Magnesium Sulfate, antibiotics and 2 steriod shots to help the baby's lungs develop (in case he came really early). The Magnesium was awful and the side effects were difficult to deal with. Everyone prayed hard, we prayed hard, and after 6 days of treatment for contractions & hospital bed rest...I was released to go home, where I would & still remain on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. We are hoping and praying the meds work and this baby does not decide to come too early. We are excited to meet our little miracle, but we want him safe and healthy. We love this baby boy so much.

19 Weeks

My Friend

It's a BOY!

My point of view

"Was that you Baby"?

Yesterday I got to 19 weeks! I cannot explain all the emotions I felt, but one for sure, BLESSED! I am so blessed to be here. It has been a long road already, but a long road I can handle. I just feel so happy to be at 18 weeks and hoping that this baby is healthy and will stay with us. I also felt alot of anxiety because we lost Eliana around 19 weeks. I know that I have to trust in God. I just continue to pray, and hope.

So, the coolest thing happened yesterday...the baby started moving!!! At first I wondered if it was really the baby because it felt like little nudges, or pokes. I laid on the couch looking at my bare tummy and thinking, "was that the baby?" After several hours of the same feeling, I basically decided that it had to be the baby. HOW COOL! I loved it. At one point while watching my bare tummy, I really thought I saw my tummy move, not allot, just a little poke. It was so amazing. I called Chris and told him and he thought it was great. I kept waiting for the baby to move again when Chris got home, and hoped that Chris could feel it or see my stomach move, but he couldn't see it or feel it, I guess I have to be farther along and the baby has to be bigger to make bigger movements.

I cleaned the house yesterday and did some laundry. It looked allot better. I still need to clean the floors and wipe the bathrooms down, but I think I will wait till tomorrow, or maybe this afternoon. I also cooked dinner last night, and after it was done and I cleaned up, my back was pretty sore. It was so sweet though, Chris came downstairs after taking a shower and said, "your the bestest wife ever!" It was so sweet, I thought to myself, wow, he is such an amazing husband. He told me that he was so thankful for cleaning and doing laundry and cooking. All I can say is that I truly am so in love with this man, and he is such a blessing. I love him so much.
Last night I had a really hard time sleeping. This is becoming the norm. I hope that I don't spend the rest of the pregnancy having such a hard time sleeping. I fell asleep ok, but then woke up around 3 and was really hot and my back hurt and I couldn't get comfortable. It is easy to get frustrated when this happens, but I try to keep calm. I felt bad cause I woke Chris up, but he wasn't mad, he was concerned and wanted to make sure I was ok.

Today I am not feeling the baby as much, but I know the baby sleeps on and off. I am really happy to be 19 weeks!

17 + Weeks

My Mother told me that I could not worry and trust at the same time. She was right.

At 17+ Weeks, my belly continues to grow and so does my anxiety. I call my mother often when I am worried, upset and need some encouragement. She always turns it over to the Lord and refers to the word of God to help me re direct my thoughts. I am so blessed for her continued thoughts and prayers as well as others who are also praying.

We are very excited about this baby, and the longer we are pregnant the more we are in LOVE. Of course who wouldn't be, right? We spend allot of time talking about the baby, and praying. We love to look at baby stuff, and also look online allot at bedding and furniture for the nursery. We have been told the gender, but we are waiting to announce this news until I am 20 weeks.

I am starting to feel better, although I still have some bad days. For the most part though, the 2nd

trimester is going fairly well.

We use the doppler about every other night, this helps allot.

WE LOVE HEARING THE HEARTBEAT.

I am really looking forward to when I feel the baby move again. I keep waiting, but nothing. Mom says that she thinks that because I first felt the baby move on Aug 20 that I will probably have the baby sometime around Jan 15-20, so we'll see. I would be very happy with these dates, anytime, just as long as the baby is healthy.

All my books say that you should start feeling the baby move anytime between 18 and 22 weeks, so given that I am now 18 + weeks, I am very much looking forward to this remarkable feeling. I really can't wait till Chris is able to feel the baby too. I know he is so excited.

circle pain

The other night when Chris and I were laying in bed, I suddenly said, "oww!", and Chris said "are you having circle pain"? I started laughing and he was like, "what"? I laughed and said "you mean round ligament pain", and he said, "yeah, round, circle, same thing". It was so cute and so funny! I thought it was a great pregnancy moment to document.

16 Weeks and 6 Days, and our journey continues

Well today I am 16 Weeks and 6 days. It has been a bit of a rough week, but me and baby are still doing ok. I am still cramping from the cerclage, and still having to take some meds for the pain. Yesterday I had a scare and Chris took me to the Dr to get checked out. As it turned out he said that I had maybe bladder spasms or probably uterine contractions and put me on some meds to stop the contractions. It really scared me when I started cramping so bad, they were so intense and I hadn't felt that kind of pain before, and decided to call the dr, which later we just decided to go see him, just to make sure all was ok. We are glad we went in, and later that evening we came home and found that the doppler we had ordered had arrived in the mail! We were so thrilled. We used it last night and got to hear the heart beat, it was amazing. (I am going to do a full post on the doppler a little later this week).

All in all, I am doing ok. I am still blessed to have this little miracle healthy inside my tummy and we are getting more and more excited about this baby we created. We continue to pray DAILY for the health of the baby. I am still nauseas at times, but starting to get a little more energy day by day.

Chris has been amazing and continues to love, encourage and calm me during this pregnancy. I am so blessed to have him.

16 Weeks

My Husband ROCKS Friday

We had a little bit of a rocky week, but we made it through. Bed rest is not easy on my husband, but he survived. He is so strong and I am so blessed to have him. He and I have been struggling a bit with finances and he is teaching me that all the little "wants" are not that necessary and we really need to save money and pay bills and so I am learning to do this, with his direction and help. It is not easy. He has always been very responsible and able to keep his finances and our finances in order. Thank goodness he is so careful, if it was up to me, we'd be in trouble for sure!

The past couple of nights it has meant so much to me to be near him and I have found great comfort in his gentle embrace and loving ways. He has realized that pregnancy hormones are very real, and even though it may be very frustrating and confusing, he is really there for me and helps me get through my bad moments, scary thoughts, and he reminds me of my faith and he even seems to be able to put a smile on my face.

He has been tough, and I am so thankful for his commitment to his work. He works so hard, and I know he's be so much happier doing something else, easier, but he is committed, and everyday, he wakes up and goes to work. Thank you Lord for such a hard working man.

Gracie...her love is healing

A dog is a man's best friend, or should I say, a girl's best friend. For the past 3 days I cannot stop crying. I know that pregnancy hormones have allot to due with my situation and make the tears flow faster and easier. I also know that lifes struggles play into this state I find myself in now. But when I am crying my eyes out, I look up and find the friendliest face. Her face, the face that says "it's ok mommy, i love you mommy". She makes me better in a way, even if it is only for a few moments, and before the next wave of tears come upon me, I know she will still be there waiting to comfort me. She makes me calm. She knows nothing of this stress, worry, anxiety, fear and confusion, she just knows that her mommy looks sad. She jumps on me with both paws close to my face and licks the tears away. She cocks her little head to the side and waits for me to sigh a sigh of relief and for a moment pause and take in all that her has offered, love. She offers love. She offers it unconditionally, asking nothing in return. She offers love, wanting only to perhaps be held and feel love back, which in a way heals me. Her love is healing. I am so blessed to have her and I don't know that she will ever really know how much I love her, but I will tell her. I love you Gracie. Mommy thanks you for all you do to make my tears fall a little less.

15 weeks and 4 days

Chelsie

I am so thankful that Chelsie came to stay with us right after my surgery. I was put on bed rest following the surgery and it was so helpful for her to be here with me. She was so sweet and helpful. I am also very glad that we got to spend time together before she heads to college.

I will surely miss her when she heads to school, but she is so excited and I am so proud of her.

I love you girl!!

Surgery

I had surgery on Aug 11th at 8:30 AM at St. Lukes Hospital in The Woodlands. I had a hard time sleeping the night before, I guess I was just nervous. The morning of the surgery I was feeling pretty calm. I woke up about 6:30, took a shower and got some comfy clothes on for the day. Chris and I drove to the hospital and both prayed. I knew that the Lord would take care of me and baby, and I believe that he gave me a peace for that day. When we arrived to the hospital we checked in and went to the 2nd floor and only waited about 5 minutes before the nurse took me back to my room. Once in the room (pre-op area) I changed into the lovely hospital gown, and the nurse prepared me for the surgery. I saw Dr. Young and the drug dr before heading to the operating room. I was surprised with myself, I was a little nervous, but my prayers and the prayers of those who prayed were answered, I was confident in my Dr's abilities and felt a peace that all would be ok. The surgery was to sew closed my cervix. It is called a cerclage. It only lasted about 45 minutes and then I was taken to the recovery room. Soon after I woke up, Chris was there holding my hand and smiling. I was very happy to see him. I stayed at the hospital for a few hours and then was released that afternoon.

I am still recovering and am on bed rest. My niece Chelsie came to help out and Chris has helped allot. Being on bed rest is hard on him, he is not used to doing everything, but he is toughing it out. I am still on pain medicine and having cramps because of the surgery. Over all the surgery was successful so far, and we hope for a full recovery soon.

Surgery tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day of my surgery (cerclage). T0day I have felt pretty good and actually had some energy so I decided to clean and catch up on stuff around the house that needed tending. I did a few loads of laundry in between cleaning, dusting, vacumming, and picking up. I also gave Gracie a mini hair cut and bathed her, she is now clean and cute, but afraid of the thunder outside. It feels good to get the house cleaner and Gracie clean before tomorrow. I also wanted to get these done because I will be on bed rest for the next several days and needed it to be done. I couldn't stand looking at it all.

Dinner needs to be made soon, I am getting hungry, but I am waiting for Chris to come home and carry the vaccum downstairs so I can vaccum 1st floor and then kitchen, before starting dinner. After dinner I think I will take a shower, or a bath.

I am beginning to wonder if I will be able to sleep at all tonight? I am feeling a bit nervous about the surgery tomorrow. I know that I need to trust in God, it is just hard sometimes. I feel a little worried about the baby, a little nervous about how the cerclage will hold up, but again, I know I must rely on God.

Great Day

Last night, as the night was getting later, Chris turned to me and said, "this was a great day"! He said it with great enjoyment, as he smiled and turned back toward our neighbors house and rang the doorbell. I smiled, agreeing and then he went on to tell me why quickly before they answered the door. His comments made me smile bigger and I had to agree, it was a great day. What I think I really liked the best was hearing that HE thought it was a great day. He works so hard during the week and I love knowing that he had a "great day". He was excited and happy that his Saturday could not have gone better.

We walked in to watch the UFC fight, something he really loves and layed down on the couch enjoying the expression on his face. A great day is something wonderful.

What did we do???? First we slept in, aww yes, sleeping in...sleep is both something we love and Chris loves it probably more than he loves alot of things. We took our time waking up in each others arms and relaxing, knowing that we had no plans and nothing to rush for, we could lay there all day if we wished. We talked about our dreams and stuff about the baby, we talked about the day and maybe what we'd eat for breakfast. I took a shower while he stayed in bed, relaxing with Gracie. After my shower, we ate breakfast (simple: cereal), and decided that we would go to Lowes and maybe one other place to check out baby stuff for the nursery. We got dressed and went to Lowes. We found the chair rail and crown molding for the room, and decided to wait to purchase it though when we had more money. Then we looked and found a chandelier for the baby room. I had always envisioned a chandelier in the nursery and we found agreed on one! We were both so happy with what we found and decided to buy it. I love it and he loves it. Then we went to lunch at Rudy's Barbeque. This place is awesome. He took me there a few weeks ago and ever since I have just loved it and wanted to go back. We both got a stuffed beef baked potato...YUMMY. He got chocolate pudding and I got peach cobbler for desert. After lunch we headed to a furniture store just to see if they had a dresser for pretty cheap, no luck though. Then we tried Target for the dresser and really didn't find anything. As we were heading to wallmart we found a salvation army store. It was their first day open and we decided to check out some baby clothes, boy did we score some great deals. We had allot of fun shopping for the clothes. After our adventure we headed home to hang the chandelier, although we didn't get to far because the fight was starting, so stopped and headed next door. A great day!

My Mom

My Husband Rocks -Officially 1st Post

I love the "My Husband Rocks" blog team. They all post something special that their husbands did during the week and on Fridays they post. I have been wanting to join this team and just really love and appreciate the concept. There are so many moments I could write about when my husband ROCKS...but I will pick one or a few and make it a goal to post about him every Friday. These memories are ones that should be treasured and remembered forever.

My Husband is truly THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. There are so many special things I could say about him, but for the sake of running my mouth, I will keep it short. He is my strength, comforter, encourager, friend, lover, and my calm in my storm.

Earlier this week when we were in the car, he turned up a song that was on the radio and said that this was his song for me, that it was how he felt about me, and my heart melted. Here is the song. Brad Paisley "Then"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGNadW5fH1E

Here are the lyrics
I remember Trying not to stare the night i first me you
You had me memorized three weeks later
in the front porch light
taking forty five minutes to kiss good night
I hadn't told you then
I thought I loved you then

(Chorus)now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
stronger then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought I loved you then

I remember
Taking you back
To right where I first met you
you were so surprised there were people around
but i didn't care I got down on one knee
right there once again I thought i loved you then

(Chorus)now your my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe the way i feel about you girl
Like the river meets the sea
stronger then its ever been
we've come so far since that day
and I thought i loved you then

break

I can just see with you with a baby on the way
i can just see you when your hair is turning gray
what i cant see
Is how I'm never gonna love you more
but I've said that before

now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just cant believe the way i feel about you girl

You'll look back some day
at this moment that we're in
and ill look at you and say
and i thought i loved you then
and i thought i loved you then

I was so touched by this song. It is also how I feel about him. I really do love him so much more then I did before, and I feel and know that love will continue to grow stronger.

He also ROCKS because although I have been quite emotional this week, he has been so patient and kind and founds ways to be affectionate & to let me know he cares. I was standing by the sink last night and he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist and under my arms, hugged me tight and then kissed me softly on my cheek. It was so sincere, so sweet. I needed that but didn't know it. He is truly amazing. I love him so much. He has had to work in horrible heat and long hours this week and he just keeps getting up and going to work. I am so blessed to have a husband who is a hard worker and one is committed to his wife and the well being of his family.

Gracie is addicted to drinking water out of our bathtub. It is the funniest thing...and at times it is annoying, but we love her so much and yes, she is SPOILED!!! She stands in front of the bathtub until we lift her up and put her in there and then take her out. She loves it. I don't know why, and don't know any other dogs that do this, but again, she is such a little princess. She has gone through so many water bowls, in our attempt to have her drink like normal doggies, but no, she just prefers the water from our bathtub. Every now and then, I can convince her to drink water out of her stainless steel bowl downstairs, but she wants me to rinse

it out first and refill it in front of her,

and then she will drink it. Silly Gracie...

Mommy's Lil Cupcake

BOY or GIRL our tiny miracle at 14 weeks

Will Baby Andel be a BOY or GIRL???? What is your guess? Daddy wants boy (of course) and Mommy wants girl (of course)...but more than anything...we just want a healthy baby and we are so excited and blessed about this tiny miracle. Here is Baby Andel at 14 Weeks.

13 Weeks--Our Miracle

At 13 weeks I am doing pretty good. I still suffer from nausea, headaches and still have issues with low blood pressure (ortho-static hypo-tension), however we are blessed and baby is healthy. I am getting bigger and really want to document the growing belly (baby). I have had a few fainting spells this week, so I remain on the couch for most of the day. Baby is moving so much during ultra sound sessions, it is so fun watching all the bouncing, kicking, jumping this little miracle makes in the womb! The heart rate stays around 160's and this baby is active as can be, although, I still have yet to feel it. Hopefully soon...

Chris has continued to be so supportive, caring and kind. He is so patient when I am emotional, cooks, cleans and still finds time to care for me with hugs , kisses and compassion. He is silly at times and I find myself laughing, I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH!!! I am so blessed to have a husband who is truly there for me during this time.

We have talked allot about names, and are really beginning to get excited. We still have our moments where we feel nervous because of our previous loss, but we are really depending on our faith and find ourselves on our knees most of the time. You always hear that after the 12th week that the chances of miscarriage is allot lower, but for us, loosing a baby late means worry now, more than worry early. (if that makes sense). Again, we are praying daily, sometimes several times a day. We are so grateful for the family and friends that continue to pray for me and baby. It feels great to be at 13 weeks though and we are looking forward to the future.

Songs for the Soul

There are a few songs that are really speaking to my soul, they are drawing me closer to my personal Father, Savior, Friend and GOD. I want to share them. I am sorta struggling with a little thing right now, and really having to trust in God and believe that his will is best. I must trust that he knows best and he will NOT FAIL ME.

My mother reminded me the other day to really trust him. She said to me that he has saved me, saved me from death so many times in my life, and he has a plan for my life. She is right. Trust is something that I think many people struggle with in their walk with God sometimes. She reminded me of scriptures that tell us to trust and hearing the word helps. Music is healing as well, and therefore I have been digging deep into a few songs that touch my soul, lift my spirits and draw me into the pure, sweet and true source of peace....GOD.

God Bless,

Darla