PEFECT LITTLE FEET

Your little feet are so beautiful! So....I love taking pics of them

Celebrating our 2 Year Aniversary & My Birthday

This year for my B-Day, I was pregnant and not able to do alot, plus financially we couldn't do much, so we went to Lupe Tortillas the day after my b-day and had a nice dinner.

For our Aniversary this year, again we couldn't afford much, and we had just had Tristan, so we went to dinner (the 3 of us) at Chuy's...the day after our special day, we had a yummy dinner.

A Visit to your Doctor

Your first visit to your doctor went well. Your dr's name is Dr.Wright, he is a pretty nice guy. You only got upset a little bit when we weighed you and the dr checked you out. But overall you really did good. You weighed around 8 lbs on your first visit. The dr was concerened that maybe you were not getting enough to eat, and advised that we watch your weight closely and nurse often. We were instructed to bring you in again after a few days to check your weight again, and when we did, you had gained a little and he was feeling better about everything.

Your second apt you had with the Dr you got your foot pricked for a blood tests and cried. I had a very hard time with this, watching you cry broke my heart and I cried too.

"Time"

I know that this will sound weird, but I find myself asking myself what on earth am I going to do with my time. Weird right? Especially strange given that I am a new mom to a 2 month year old...but it is true. Let me try to explain. Last night it hit me that I am waiting all day for what to do next. My time is used so differently, and no, I am in no way complaining, but boy is it different. I told Chris last night, as I broke down crying", holding Tristan, I looked at him and explained that I wasn't sure what to do until midnight (which is when we go to sleep). I even admitted that I was waiting for that. I mean what else do I wait for...nothing really. I find it hard trying to explain it now as I write, but I need to, because I feel this is important, and strange, and one day maybe I will want to recall this memory. So, back to my "time" issue, yeah, so I am just wondering what to do sometimes, allot of times. When I am watching Tristan, or caring for him, I cannot do anything else, pretty much, and so I am staring at him, or nursing him, or talking to him, or trying to play or sing to him, hoping he will smile and melt my heart, which he does --allot :) But honestly, I look at the clock and only 5 minutes has passed and I am like, "what, it's only _____ o clock, and what the heck do I do next". Get the idea? So I am telling Chris this and he laughs, but understands. Seriously, it is becoming hard for him to figure out what to do, does it get better? I am guessing yes. When Tristan is being cared for by Chris it is simple, I know that I am going to do this and that and this and that, and I do it, and then come back to Tristan. I am so happy being a Mommy and he is one of my greatest blessings, but my time is passing day by day and I am wondering what I am doing with it all (time I mean). Does this little tiny human being know that he rules my world, and that it is all for him, all of our time? Probably not, but that is ok. I love that I can devote my time and I am truly blessed that I get to be with him all day and night, and I wouldn't change anything, I am just trying to adjust I guess. I remember when I spent my time on myself and now I spend it all (for the most part) on the 2nd love of my life, my beautiful baby boy, Tritan Dean. I love you baby boy.

Breastfeeding - Update as of 2 months

I thought I would write a short update on how bf is going these days and how it went from the start. I wasn't sure that I could say that I always knew that I was bf, or use formula or both. I could say that I didn't really make the decision or choice until I became pregnant with Tristan (I think I thought of it a little with Elliana, but I honestly don't remember). But with Tristan, I knew that I wanted to, and needed to bf for as long as I possibly could, and prayed hard that we would be able to bf with ease. The Lord has blessed us and I have been bf exclusively now since Tristan was born. He has never had anything but breast milk and the breast. I know that I need to pump and introduce a bottle, but this is no easy task. I will talk more about pumping later.

When Tristan was born, via c-section, he was healthy and we were able to bond quickly afterwards and he was introduced to our parents, and then after a short time with them, I put him to me to nurse. He did remarkably well, and I (even though I was not confident) seemed to do pretty well myself. This new bond was so sweet and I felt so needed by him, I felt that he and I became so close, so fast, it was a huge blessing. I can't say that it hurt too bad because I was on meds from the surgery. After the meds started to wear off, it did hurt a bit, but nothing unbearable, and it only really hurt right when he latched on. I continued to pray that bf would work well for him and I, and God has been so faithful in blessing us.

We needed and still need to bf, as we are financially hurting so bad that this is our best solution for his needs when it comes to being nurished, and our abilities financially. Plus, it really helps me and Tristan bond, and it is a special time I get him apart from the world, it is our time to share glances of Mother and Son and I am embracing this bond and treasuring it everytime.

I must also admit that although it is a huge blessing and I love it, I really do; there are times where I find myself stressed, and a little bothered, just being honest. Those times are in the morning, when I am all warm, cozy and very tired, and he is hungry, and it is hard to remember our "special time" when I am really just wanting to sleep. I pray for strength and drink my coffee and look into his beautiful eyes and love him, I nurse him, and thank my Lord for him, for the miracle that he is.

At 2 months old he is still nursing exclusively. He bf about every 2 hours during the day and at night he is starting to sleep for 5-6 hours, which is AWESOME! I have tried to pump once, and it didn't go very well. I haven't tried again. I need to try again, and will wait until he can go longer in between feedings during the day.

"Can I Hold Him?"

Your cousin Clayton Eggleston has taken quite a liking to you Tristan. It is so cute! When you were born, he and his family (my brother) came to visit you at the hospital and he was very sweet with you. He quickly asked to hold you, sat in a chair with the boppy pillow in his lap and held you as long as he could. You got a little heavy for him and his sister Rachel took over, but he didn't take his eyes off you. I loved the gentleness he showed toward you and know that when you get older that you two will probably be best buds. We went to visit your "Mom-Mom" and "Grandad" a few weeks ago and Clayton had stopped by with his Dad and he asked to hold you again. I let him of course.